It's finally here. A useful glossary of running terminology;  Definitions that accurately portray the meaning behind the terms we use.  Whether we are running up Mt. Joy">

our humor   It's finally here. A useful glossary of running terminology;  Definitions that accurately portray the meaning behind the terms we use.  Whether we are running up Mt. Joy, down Mt. Misery, towards Manayunk or around Betzwood in weather conditions that either freeze or melt, we can now feel confident in describing the sanity of our training methods.  For those interested in softer, sensitive, conservative, nurturing, definitions with low impact, click here.   Running Terminology Achilles Tendonitis: the Greek God of running injuries. Antioxidants: those who rally against oxygen intake. Bandit: cheapskate, "Can you believe he ran that race without paying the registration fee?!!" Base training: working out on the grounds of a military base; you should do most of your steady aerobic running here before you do speed or hill workouts. Blade Runner: a runner who is as skinny as a blade of grass. Bonk: when one is lacking in fuel and feels weak is cause of this during a run. "You don't want to bonk during the race. Eat something!" Bunions: The mother and father of Paul. Capilene: the way a runner's cap or hat naturally leans or tilts while running. "Your capliene is stylin". Carbo load: a garbage truck full of bread and 6" pasta. Cherry picker: a runner who hates to lose. Clydesdale: a special racing division for really big horses; not to be confused with the Shetland division for the really little ones. CR: 1. Course record, 2. Crappy race. Cross training: training when you are very upset. Didathoner: those who run marathons and ultra marathons for quantity not quality. A didathoner will tell you they did London, Boston, Big Sur and Avenue of the Giants, all within a three-week period. They may have finished each one in 10 hours but hey, they "did it." DNF: did not finish. There are many reasons to "DNF" but not completing a race because someone you don't want to be ahead of you, is in fact, ahead of you is not one of them. DNS: did not start. Popular low key event: DNS. DNF. DNC. (Did not start. Did not finish. Did not care) 5K. Double: 1. completing two workouts in one day; doing a two mile warm up jog followed by a six mile tempo run doesn't count. 2. What you drink after you DNF. Endorphins: friendly little parasites that you usually feel in the middle of a good run. "'The endorphins are kicking in. Expos: outlet shopping malls for runners. Fartlek, (1): speed work after a meal of refried beans. Fartlek, (2): When a runner increases his or her pace sufficiently enough to put adequate distance between themselves and the rest of the group so they can take a quick pottie break before the group catches up. "There goes Jim on another Fartlek!" Food and Drug Administration: pre-race ritual Involving carbohydrates, plenty of fluids, and plenty of anti-Inflammatories. Free Balling: happens when the liner of a male's running shorts looses their elasticity. Gel: something in your running shoe or your hair; both of which are supposed to make you run faster. Glycogen stores: stores where you can get a limited supply of fuel before you have to visit the fat stores. Good Job: thinly veiled words of encouragement during a race or serious workout that really mean,"What the heck are you doing ahead of me?" "Gotta Love Those Hills!": For runners believing that "hill work" is "speed work" in disguise, this is the "War Hoop" that mentally convinces us that running up hills hurts less than running at top speed around a track. Hamstring: the leash you hook to your pet pig's collar. Harcormorner: hard core morning runner. Heart rate monitor: an annoying piece of equipment that constantly beeps, usually worn by someone who is etiquette-impaired and running the same pace as you in a race. Illotiblal band: a musical group made up of runners, popular with Beatniks in the U.S. and U.S.. The band disbanded due to bad knees from constant bending while playing the bongos. Injury: worse than the bubonic plague; when In need of sympathy or a little attention, tell your running friends you have an injury (use words like "ripped ilio-tibular ligament'. "Lacerated plantar', and "torn metatarsal') then go out for a run. You will earn instant respect and admiration for running through your Injury. LSD: let's slow down. Marathoner: a person who derives great personal satisfaction from an experience very similar to breathing into a plastic bag for about forty minutes. Masters: special division in races for those with advance degrees. MPH miles per hour. MPD: miles per day. Negative split: 1. Running the second half of one's race faster than the first half; common among elite runners. 2. A banana split without the whipped cream, bananas, nuts, or Ice cream. NRF: non-running friend, "nurf". Pace: preferred salsa of runners worldwide, hence the term. "Pick up the Pace.' The heat is on. Pacer: 1. a running friend who sets the pace In the latter part of a long race. 2. A runner who brings chips and salsa to the workout. Path Pounders: trail runners. Plantar Fascitis: a Latin derivative for doing a face plant on a trail run. Poison Oak: something one acquires, like endurance and dirty shoes, from doing trail runs. Polypropelene: an awesome professional female runner who is very lean, and wicks away sweat, "Wow. She is so polypropelene!" Power Bar: bar frequented by the elite in the running world. PR a personal record, a best time at any given distance. Pronate: 1. Podiatrists say 90% of the running population overpronates; the other 10% stagnate. 2. What the shoe guy says you have and then you have to pay an extra 5 bucks for your running shoes. PW: a personal worst. Racing Singlet: a little song or tune performed before each race. RC: 1. running club. 2, eating club where running is the only means to the end. 3. A Pepsi or Coke substitute. Runner: something bad that happens to your pantyhose rendering them useless for the remainder of the race. Runner's Courtesy: What a group of runners yell out when they overcome another member who has previously "fartlek'd" with insufficient speed and distance. In other words, "we've caught up with you and we promise, we're not looking!" Runner’s log: do not try to run with one of these. It will be painful and could be embarrassing, always deposit them (or bury them if you're on the trail) In the toilet before you start. Sandbagger: when a very fast runner claims to be tired or Injured and starts out In the back of the pack by choice only to push and shove their way to the front. Punishment for this behavior: filling bags of sand until the last runner has finished, hence, the phrase. "You are nothing but a '@'^#7.'@] Sandbagger...and you ain't no running friend of mine'. Sciatic nerve: an extremely Irritating runner. "He's got a lot of sciatic nerve!" SDF: super duper fast. "Look at her go. She's SDF!" Splits: when one runner divorces another runner, he or she splits. Sprinting: what you thought you were doing during the last .2 of the marathon and the clock read 2:59:59. Stretching: to be done only when you are first to cross the finish line tape - you are allowed to stretch your body as you break the tape, otherwise prohibited. Supinate: what you did after a race; you had soup and ate. Taper: to cut back one's weekly mileage, before a big race, from, say, 90 miles to 80 miles. Tempo Run: running to the beat of your favorite song should be done at least once a week. Triathlete: an injured or disgruntled runner who has money. A bike, and a pool ...and likes to prance around all day In a Speedo. Ultramarathoner: a person who derives great personal satisfaction from experiences that include, but are not limited to, oxygen deprivation, motion sickness, dehydration, chafing, blistering, vomiting, cramping, heat stroke, and hypothermia...and preferably all at once. Ultrathon: a footrace that exceeds 26.2 miles, usually on trails, that involves three methods of forward motion, usually a run, jog and walk. Wall: as in "the wall". Something you lean against to stretch your calf muscles. Especially at the twenty-mile mark In a marathon, runners like to "hit the wall".